BED RUGS FOR TRUCKS

He walks to ease the thought of you, the pain that pounds in my his like a big bass drum with monotonous frequency, reminding him of the fool that he has been, the angry words spoken in haste and now repented at leisure. The air is clear, his lungs are full and he paces himself as heavy boots push on through the thick velvet grass that carpets the ground that you and he have walked upon so many times hand in hand, in blissful union of two like souls and minds. You're at the window now, he felt your presence, your unease, those remorseful brown eyes burning on his back as he left the road and crossed over into the lush woodlands.

He walks to lessen the feeling of anger that wells deep within him like a volcano about to burst it's banks and spew down across the landscape of happiness and love that dwelt below it. He is selfish, arrogant, headstrong at times with a stubborn streak that could span the Grand Canyon itself, and he has wronged you. Shallow words, ill conceived, not thought out with calmness and rationality, a mouth that has the propensity to spout before the brain has engaged, a weakness, a flaw in his character, you suppose. And he knows it to.



He walks to ease his self loathing and embarrassment, for he knows within his heart of blackened heart that he doesn't deserve your love and never has. Headstrong, overbearing, demonstrative and fragile, he is the precocious child that nobody cared for, he is the victim of his own foolishness. He is the bastard genes of his odious father. He is dumb.

There, he has said it now.

And now his anger softens, his pulse slows and his feet come to a halt by a mildew covered wooden bench seat where you and he have sat so often over these past years. How does he find the words to say that he is sorry again? And why do you care? What do you see in him that is not masked by this temperament of his, the Jackyl and Hyde within the facade? Your gentle face and loving smile, those sparkling eyes that always give forgiveness long before your lips confirm are his salvation.

He walks because this is his therapy and anger management. Here he realizes his own demons, and faces his mistakes, he stands head to head with his weaknesses and pitfalls. An ugly soul amidst the beauty of Mother nature's treasures, a worthless man before the honesty and purity of your love. He walks because he knows he is at fault, to blame again, as always, this dumb head, these feeble limbs, this fractured heart that at times seems incapable of allowing you in, past his defences, past the barriers that he has built. He walks because he cannot run, he cannot hide from the reality of the man he has become. You will open the door, holding back the tears that have cascaded down across your gentle cheeks, his bloody fists, your bruises of the heart and flesh, with every one a candle snuffed within the brightness of your soul. You will smile and beckon him once more inside, begging his forgiveness, as you always do.



He walks to ease his conscience and to give you time to paint your pretty face, to cover the damage, to conceal the scars, to erase all trace of what physical pain he has just caused you, though pain of the emotional kind lives on within you, reminding you of your place and manners. You will clean his wounds and caress his hands so gently as you tell him you are sorry. All will be well until the next time that you push and push until he is backed into the corner with no way out but to punish you for your insolence as you make him mad and he walks alone again.

........The product of my fathers anger, the apple of my mothers eye. I walk because I know that I can never change.




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Rewritten on August 3rd 2011

Photograph taken at 07:07am on July 22nd 2011 in the grounds of Dunorlan Park, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, England.


Nikon D700 112mm 1/250s f/5.6 iso200

Nikkor AF 75-300mm f/3.5-5.6. UV filter. Nikon GP-1


LATITUDE: N 51d 8m 1.73s
LONGITUDE: E 0d 17m 2.44s
ALTITUDE: 138m

A better shot of the 'pump action' carpet cleaner. Above it is a woven carpet beater very hard work. Below that is a black cast iron door stop in the shape of a lion I think.